Cold Turkey : LOLCATS vs. Tight jeans
Poufiasse, 20/11/2008 [Cool is Class War, FAS - Rencontres, L'improbable missive]

Pour ceux qui l’ignorent, FAS-rencontres en vrai, c’est les personals de Craiglist. En cherchant l’âme-soeur essayant FAS-rencontres,  j’ai trouvé cette jeune dame qui capture presque parfaitement et à son insu, l’esprit du cool is class war.
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W seeks M: a recovering hipster/indie kid – 22 (trendy capital
Yes, it’s true. 
No I am not recovering from a drug addiction, alcoholism, or being a shopaholic. I am recovering from years of hispter-ism. 
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I realized this a couple weeks ago…looking around my trendy Plateau neighbourhood, that I did not want to be defined by my skinny jeans and extensive American Apparel collection. 
I am sick of trying to give a shit about the new trendy, electro-synth-80′s inspired bands. I no longer want to think about buying those Matthew-Good style black rimmed glasses. I do not want to fit in at Urban Outfitters, or any other trendy bars/clubs. 
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But my addiction to you, oh hipster world, is strong. 
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I love the way my skinny jeans rub my legs, and how I have spent hundreds of dollars buying over-priced American Apparel t shirts and sweaters. Oh hipster indie scene, you empty my bank account in a way that soothes my constant hangover. Pabst Blue Ribbon, you have been my close friend…and I feel so cool drinking you it’s like a gift from our proverbial God, which I assume to be that giant cross JUSTICE has. 
BUT ALAS 
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I cannot do you anymore. I have a problem, or I haz a problem. Oh LOLCATS…at least my addiction to you is pure and simple. 
I don’t want to pretend to be vegan. I don’t want to have a trendy haircut or listen to the new raaadddd bands. 
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So there. 
Hispter indie kids need not apply. I do not want to sit in your apartment and talk about how cool ____________ band is, and drink cheap disgusting Papsmear blue ribbon. 
But I DO………..damn you indie hipster scene…..DAMN…YOU
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Commentaires:

  • Commentaire by Poufiasse, 20/11/2008:

  • Celle-ci n’est pas mal non plus:

    Looking for good looking rich vegan businessman or wants to be a vegan – 35 (Montreal)

    Hello,

    I would like to date a guy who knows alot about making money and business. I am a pretty artist, very slim. I would like to learn about business and investment so I can become rich.In return I will teach you about art, veganism (if you do not know about this),living by my wits alone(with zero in my bank account).
    Ideally I would like to start a familly with someone.But the main thing is finding a good father who dosen’t mind being a part time dad.I am into home schooling by the way.
    I like muscles, so no flabby bodies!
    I am into fairy tales, paganism, ancient cultures, nature, art, movies, poetry,decorateing, cooking, travel, business, culture.
    Please send a picture. Thanks.

  • Commentaire by Zepoulpe, 20/11/2008:

  • Dude, c’est le fucking Klondike ce site !

    I’m looking for someone who is looking to be ‘gotten’. If you’ve ever found yourself on a date or in a relationship where after peeling away all the layers of the onion, you still tell yourself ‘Gee, this guy is completely clueless…he has absolutely no substance…it really is all about him’ (or any derivatives thereof) . Well…I am NOT that guy!! That is to say I’ve been blessed with the gift of above average intuition. I will ‘GET’ you!

    Now, what I’m looking for is a sophisticated, complex, professional and beautiful woman that will not have a problem with diving right into an intense conversation or intense anything. An « alpha-female » so to speak; a woman that will complete the other half of the « power couple » and ultimately, someone looking to be “gotten”

    What I have to offer in return is myself, the whole being. I have an elevated emotional IQ and know how to use it. I have negligible inbound baggage. I’m tall (6’4″), broad shoulders with a large build, brown hair, big brown eyes that will peer into your depths. I’m a successful professional and travel a lot. As a result I have a ridiculous amount of Air Miles that I would eventually like to cash in. Are you with me?

  • Commentaire by Poufiasse, 20/11/2008:

  • Parlant de Klondike:

    Listen:
    In 1.5 years, give or take a decimallion, I’m moving to Yellowknife or Whitehorse to become a squillionaire, and prance around the North in search of solace and twig-shaped souvenirs.
    Now it’s gonna be cold, and it’s GONNA be lonely, so I’ll need some jive turkey or gentle rogue to accompany me and my friends, to keep me warm.

    The man I seek must be okay with the fact that I’m going to be the surrogate mother of my friend’s homosexual male baby. And that I will be known as the cool aunt.

    Try to also have flowing hair and pointy boots.
    Oh! My sister needs one too.
    One man.
    Maktub.

  • Commentaire by Zepoulpe, 20/11/2008:

  • Tiens, si j’avais pas de blonde:

    I won’t say that I’m the perfect girlfriend. I probably won’t wipe your nose when you’re sick. I think that shit’s gross. I’m unemployed and majoring in English, so I likely won’t ever be financially secure. The most exercise I get is riding my bike or dancing at shows. I don’t get up before noon unless I have to.

    But I’m good at singing along to Leonard Cohen and staying up all night. I make good potatoes and I’m always game for adventure. If you want to meet someone who can brew amazing ginger tea and draw pretty postcards, I’m your gal.

    If you’ve ever worn a cheesy gold chain or been to a tanning salon, it won’t work out – sorry. I’m looking for someone close to my age who might describe himself as excited about life. Or even just excited about mangoes. You should be good at laughing and not asexual.

    Send me a bit about yourself and a picture, if interested.

  • Commentaire by Zepoulpe, 20/11/2008:

  • Le titre de la dernière annonce, c’est « Girl Seeks Boy with whom to Eat Poutine in Bed – 21 (Montreal) »

  • Commentaire by touche-toi, 20/11/2008:

  • I’m a successful professional and travel a lot. As a result I have a ridiculous amount of Air Miles that I would eventually like to cash in. Are you with me?

    Houuuu, i’m so in!
    Et en plus he will GET me!
    Ce mec sait parler aux femmes…

  • Commentaire by Robodrigue, 20/11/2008:

  • Jetez l’ancre!! La voilà la terre de tous les maux! Le visage figé des adeptes de la cocaïne, les cris bestiaux de nos maîtresse en crise de panique, la haine qui monte au cœur plus l’horloge s’approche du fatidique 3ham, le mal du mâle, voilà donc où tout ce qui démoralise s’énergise… craigslist.org… va te faire foutre Craig.

  • Commentaire by touche-toi, 20/11/2008:

  • hé, hé, hé

  • Commentaire by Poufiasse, 20/11/2008:

  • Manger les sandwich au cretons d’un poste de police: check.
    Avoir un autographe des Denis Drolet sur le ventre: check
    Dire à une star internationale qu’il a une bonne bouille et lui demander s’il a déjà considéré devenir artiste: CHECK!
    Se faire soupçonner d’avoir voler une banque aux douanes américaines: CHECK!

    Answering personal ads: double-check.

    J’ai répondu à deux annonces… Cool is class war en perspective.

  • Commentaire by mjack, 20/11/2008:

  • qui est motivé popur sortir un fascicule du fas spécial «là où tout ce qui démoralise s’énergise» à temps pour l’expozine??

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